Professor Chats

Hubby has finally retired after several decades of teaching math and/or computer science from junior high level all the way through college and in the business world. During this time he has had some interesting conversations with his students (and a few parents). Here are some of the best:

Student: How can I get an A in this class?

Hubby: Let’s take a look at your grades. Hmmm…you didn’t turn in any homework assignments all semester and you were absent three out of four classes. You only passed one test in four months and that grade was a D.

Student: Right. So, how can I get an A?

Hubby: Repeat the class next semester, show up for class, and do all the required work.

Mad Mom on phone: You flunked my son!

Hubby: Ma’am, I’ve never flunked a student. They do that all by themselves.

Student: I’m sorry I’m late to class every day. It’s just hard to get here by 8:00.

Hubby:  Do you plan to get a job after graduation?

Student:: Oh yes! I’m going to be a computer programmer.

Hubby: You realize, of course, that most office hours begin at 8:00 and your manager will expect you to be working at 8:00.

Student: They will just have to learn to get along without me until I get there.

Student: Something is wrong with the book. I followed all the instructions and my program didn’t run.

Hubby:  The other students turned their programs in without any difficulties, so there shouldn’t be a problem with the book.

Student: Well, I programmed exactly how the book said to do it.

Hubby:  Let’s take a look at your program…you are missing a comma on this row, a backslash on this row, etc.

Student:Is that important?

Student: Why did you give me an F on the test?

Hubby: I didn’t give you an F. You earned it.

Student: But I did exactly what AI told me to.

Hubby:  I know. AI got an A for getting the answers right. You got an F for cheating.

Student: I don’t understand why your classes are so hard.

Hubby:  You do seem to be struggling. Maybe computer programming isn’t your thing. Have you ever considered going into another field?

Student: No, never. I’ve always been great on the computer. I’ve reached the highest level of difficulty in every game I ever played.

Hubby: You do realize that playing computer games well isn’t the same as writing a computer program, right?

Student: Seriously?

Mad Mom 2: Why didn’t my son get an A on his final project? He got A’s in all his other classes.

Hubby: Actually, getting an A in one class isn’t a guarantee for getting an A in another class.

Mom: I know, but he did all his work.

Hubby:  That is correct, but his work was wrong.

Mom: It couldn’t be wrong. I worked on that project for hours. I mean, I watched him work on that project for hours.

Student: Can’t you make this class easier?

Hubby:  Yes I can, but then you wouldn’t be prepared to enter the workforce after you graduate.

Student:That won’t matter. I’m going to be a boss, so my people will have to be prepared.

Student: I really want to make an A in this class.

Hubby:  The way to make an A is to study.

Student: Isn’t there some other way?

Hubby: I’m sorry to hear about your grandmother.

Student:Yeah, she was very sick before she died.

Hubby:  She must’ve been. She died 3 times this semester.

Student: Why didn’t my program run correctly?

Hubby:  I’m afraid you experienced a classic recursion failure. Either more RAM or more intelligence is required.

Student: Uh…what?

Student: I was hoping to make an A or a B in this class and I got a D.

Hubby:  to make an A or B in this class you have to know something and prove it on homework and tests.

Student: Does your family know what you do for a living?

Hubby:  Sure.

Student:Are you like this at home?